Such a Pretty Face

The official site of writer Carla Sosenko

Brrrrrr. February 25, 2010

Filed under: Musings — carlasosenko @ 4:21 pm

I come to you live from New Jersey, soon departing work for home (Brooklyn), where we are currently experiencing the LARGEST snowflakes I have ever seen! Think good thoughts, people, for 30 or so of us are about to attempt to traverse numerous bridges in a single bound. It’s gonna be dicey, but I’m always up for an adventure! The real question is, do I go to the gym or just curl up in my new super-comfy chair and watch reruns of Gilmore Girls. How does one decide such things?

Ah, what’s up with that picture to the left you ask. Well I’ll tell you! My friend Jessica and I recently participated in a photo shoot for the uber-talented Sabrina Faith Weisbrod, makeup artist extraordinaire. If you find yourself in New York and in need of some super-fly face-doing, get thee to Sabrina! (All shots by fabulous and very sweet photog Duffy.)

 

Hey look, I’m going to be speaking in Minnesota! February 13, 2010

Filed under: Musings, Uncategorized — carlasosenko @ 4:38 pm

It’s true! I’ll be at the K-T Support Meeting from July 23-24, so if you live in or plan on visiting scenic Rochester, Minn., come on by! (No, it’s nowhere near the Mall of America–I already checked.) You can find info about the meeting here. I feel really privileged and honored to be included.

Also, I’m currently taking topic requests for the meeting. Want me to talk about my ethical dilemma as a fan of Celebrity Rehab? I’ll do it. In the mood to hear me perform my favorite karaoke song of all time? Provide me with a wind machine and some scarves and consider it done. Care to hear me expound on the deliciousness of Trader Joe’s soy nuggets? Say no more!

Ok, I’m kidding: I’ll probably read my essay “What the Guys Don’t Know” and take some questions, but I’d still love to see you there!

c.

 

If you’ve left a comment… February 5, 2010

Filed under: Musings — carlasosenko @ 6:15 pm

…and I haven’t responded, I’m sorry! How obnoxious is that? Between all the regular day-to-day busyness of life (work, spending copious amounts of time watching various shows on drug rehab as well as all the reruns of Gilmore Girls I can find), I get a little lost. BUT…if you are on Facebook, please friend me there and I’ll make sure to write you back! (Somehow my Facebook in-box is a little less unwieldy. I don’t know why–the mind is a funny thing.) Otherwise, I’ll do my best to get back to you–and please keep the comments coming! You have no idea how much they mean. 

xo c.

 

The Tom Sizemore problem. January 29, 2010

Filed under: Musings, Uncategorized — carlasosenko @ 12:55 am

So, confession: I am addicted to addiction shows. I can watch episode after episode of Intervention, and I have religiously DVRed every incarnation of the Dr. Drew treatment saga–Celebrity Rehab, Sober House and Sex Rehab. I’ve watched this latter group of shows through splayed fingers, with that quiet, niggling feeling in my stomach. The one that makes me wonder if shows like this are staged (they are) and exploitative (they are), if the fact that they’re recorded and televised negates their value. I’ve always told myself that ultimately, if people get help, then that’s good, and if we get to watch it, the same way we watch documentaries, then what’s the difference. (Flashing back to Professor Speight’s sophomore Ethics class at BU: Kant would call bullshit here.)

I also suspect, in the case of the celebrities on these shows–almost all of whom are C-list or beyond–the glimmer of a refurbished career, delivered to them gratis if they only promise to get clean (or to fail stunningly, but to at least fail stunningly on camera) in front of millions of viewers is truly the motivating factor. It’s a sort of tree-falling-in-the-woods proposition: If rehab happens and no one is there to watch it, is it really worth it? The answer, of course, is no, so if our witnessing them have psychotic breaks and get the DTs and crumble under the agonizing pain of detox and then the worse pain of group therapy means they have a shot at a better life, then ok. And if some viewer out there struggling with meth or coke or Xanax is also somehow helped by bearing witness, then really really ok.

But….

This season of Celebrity Rehab makes me feel particularly slimy, and here’s why: I’ve always liked Dr. Drew. He strikes me as a fame whore, but he does good work. (He’s also dreamy, so telegenic it’s hard to imagine him not being on TV.) But this season, Drew’s reunited meth addict Heidi Fleiss (who is, surprisingly, very likable) with her ex Tom Sizemore. He’s likeable, too, in a way. Here’s the thing: Tom Sizemore once beat the crap out of Heidi Fleiss. As she tells it, when they broke up, she left with her head split open. I’m guessing they were both high as kites and probably both bear some responsibility in the violent, tragic end of their affair. Watching them reunite (we get to see it–of course we do; we get to see everything) is touching and sad and confusing. But I can’t imagine any other situation in which a doctor would place someone who is essentially a battered woman in a rehab facility with her abuser, can you? Of course not. Well, not unless that situation makes good TV.

Drew acknowledges this conundrum in voiceover after a scene in which Tom, starting to detox, lies on Heidi’s lap for comfort. Drew says he’s “concerned that their complicated, volatile relationship will cause them to turn on each other at any moment” (even better TV!) so he’s “going to keep a close eye on them.” Hey, here’s an idea: How about keep them separate? Y’know, in different treatment facilities?

I imagine Dr. Drew would say that Heidi and Tom have a difficult relationship, that they care for each other, and it’s clear that they do. He would probably say that they wanted to film the show together. (He might not say that neither one would consent to rehab unless it were part of a televised show, but that’s also probably true.) But wouldn’t many women whose boyfriends have beat the crap out of them make the same claims? Isn’t that battered wife syndrome? An abused woman would need treatment, and so would her boyfriend, but they’d need treatment separately. And they’d probably also need never to lay eyes on each other again.

All the people on these rehab shows have been exploited in some way in their life. Whether it’s Celebrity Rehab 3’s Mackenzie Phillips, who so famously did very bad things with her father, or every single castmate on Sex Rehab. They’ve been used by relatives and spouses and hangers-on. It’s hard not to think that they’re being exploited all over again, and I’m sure it seems worth it to them.

Those of us who watch reality TV know we’re in for an unseemly experience; hell, it’s why a lot of us watch. But this crosses a line. I’m on board when the therapy seems like good treatment and also happens to be good television. But I can’t for the life of me think how Heidi Fleiss and Tom Sizemore going through rehab together could be a good idea beyond a cheap ratings trick.

 

Help Haiti! January 15, 2010

Filed under: Musings — carlasosenko @ 11:44 am

Not to belabor this point, but disasters like the one in Haiti always seem to bring out the best in people. So please, whether you can give a lot or a little, help! Huffington Post has a good roundup of organizations that need our support. You can check it out here.

 

2010, mofos. January 2, 2010

Filed under: Musings — carlasosenko @ 5:51 pm

Happy New Year, y’all! Consensus seems to be that 2009 sucked, but I don’t know, I liked it. New place, lots of writing goodness, new president (huzzah!). But it wasn’t great for everyone (hi, economy), so here’s hoping that 2010 is wonderful and healthy and safe and creative and productive for all.  May it be warm where you are (freeeeeeeeezing in New York right now–headed to friends’ in Park Slope soon for some delicious s’mores and wine and a fire and Wii (I have never played this–I’m excited, so long as it’s not Wii Fit, which I understand makes you enter your weight. If we play Wii Fit, I’m saying I’m 8-feet tall, lest my avatar look like a Weeble.) Whoa, parentheses within a parentheses! Maybe that’s why 2010 will be the year of! That and ending sentences with prepositions!)

xoxo c.

 

I’m a bachelorette! And I’m eligible! December 15, 2009

Filed under: Musings — carlasosenko @ 8:31 pm

So, this week I am lucky enough to be featured alongside many other lovely ladies in Time Out New York’s most eligible bachelorette feature. For those of you not from NYC, Time Out (along with New York magazine) is kind of like our city bible. (Actch, your city may have its own version of TONY.) Anyway, if you feel like it, please have a look and witness me awkwardly answering questions about what I’m looking for in a mate and explaining why I’m a great catch. Fun!

xoxo.

 

Happy Hanukkah! December 13, 2009

Filed under: Musings — carlasosenko @ 1:41 pm

For all of you celebrating, I hope you have a wonderful holiday. So far, my Hanukkah has consisted of realizing that my electric menorah is broken, having a Neil Diamond sing-along at my aunt and uncle’s annual party and trying (in vain) to find a Hanukkah card at Target (left).

 

Mothereffing Halloween. October 28, 2009

Filed under: Musings — carlasosenko @ 10:01 pm

green_fairy_by_matusciacNot to sound like a grump, but I positively despise Halloween. I, unlike apparently a lot of people, do not appreciate what has come to be the one day a year is it acceptable for a woman to dress hoey. (If you wanna dress hoey, go ahead and do it! Why wait until October?) As a self-proclaimed creative type, I also loathe the idea of buying a store-bought costume but find myself in a pinch: I am going to a green-themed party. (If I weren’t, pretty sure I’d want to go as Taylor Jacobson: messy blond wig, dark brows, sunglasses, Starbucks cup, droney voice–LOVE.)

ANYWAY, a green party. My friend is going as corn. Adorable. I thought of going as envy, and still think that would sort of rule, but how does one dress as envy? Leading other top contenders right now include Mother Earth (thank you, friend Rema!), peas in a pod (thank you, friend Jenny!), a visitor from the land of Og (am I the only person who remembers this cartoon?)  and the Green Fairy (as in absinthe). So now it’s a mad dash to pull any one of those off in two days. (Have I mentioned that I hate Halloween?) If I can’t do it, then I’m just going to DRINK the absinthe and call it a day.

c.

 

Hey y’all! October 26, 2009

Filed under: Musings — carlasosenko @ 11:48 pm

freemansIt’s 11:30 at night, and I’m at work. Also, I have a cold. Waaaaaah. I bought a neti pot last night and I’m a mixture of terrified and jumping-out-of-my-seat excited to go home and use it. Last night I think I did it wrong–the result was what I like to describe as water boarding lite. I sort of wish I had a picture. Imagine water trickling in a stream out of one nostril (the way it’s supposed to) AND my mouth (the ways it’s not). Ew, right? Like some low-grade horror movie about being possessed or something. Anyway, my mom heard Oprah endorsed neti pots, and that is good enough for me! Also, my friend Todd, who came with me to CVS to get it. (Ooh, we saw Alessandro Nivola and Emily Mortimer there. LOVE. They are the cutest, loveliest, talentyest couple you shall ever see. It was a very starry weekend, actually: Ogled John Krasinski and Emily Blunt–also super cute–Justin Theroux AND Gabriel Byrne all within two days. New York=Hollywood East these days. I don’t mind when it’s people like all of them.) 

Anyhoodle, what do you guys feel like talking about? Suggestions welcome! No, really, put ‘em in the comments section and we’ll talk about whatever you want. Boys? I can always talk about boys. Cupcakes? I have surprisingly little to say about cupcakes. I prefer regular cake. I don’t know what happens when you shrink a cake down to itty-bitty, but something, and I don’t like it.

For now, I’ll continue to suck the candy shell off M&Ms one by one because (as I may have mentioned) I a) am sick and b) am still at work, and those two things combined have led me to believe I DESERVE to eat as many M&Ms one by one as I damn well please.

Oh, hey, I just turned 33. (Can you tell I don’t want to get back to work. You thought I was letting you go and then I turned around and reeled you right back in.) Wee! I love birthdays. Some people hate them. Nope, not me. This is a picture my lovely friend Heather took at our fun birthday brunch. See me gazing at the cake, ready to make a grandiose wish? Yeah, guess what: I forgot to make one. [Sigh.] Can you believe that? Who forgets their birthday wish??? It’s the only official wish you get all year! (Though I did once write a short story in which eyelash wishes played a prominent role. Hey, maybe I’ll go dig that up and post it here. It placed in a contest and everything. Fancy!)

Ok, cold medicine and chocolate candy coating may be going to my head now. Until next time.

xoxo c.