And the three wise men brought gold, frankincense and…acetone?

6 Dec

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Okay, so, this is a thing: A 16-piece Tom Ford gift collection of nail polish. It’s $480. OH MY GOD IT’S $480!!!

Anyone who knows me knows I am a fashion-and-beauty whore and always have been. If I have the money for something expensive and really want it, I will buy it, because that’s what money is for, and you should do what makes you happy so long as you’re not bankrupting yourself. See also this:

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And this:

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And also this:

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Okay, now I’m just showing you my clothes, and I guess that’s obnoxious. But my clothes are my boyfriend! (The most private thing I admit in my OkCupid profile (which I am totally taking down I swear I am I’m doing it!) is that I recently walked into my apartment and said to the pile of new clothes stacked on my couch, “Hello, my babies.” Surprisingly, this adorable anecdote has not sent the fellas a’courtin’.) ANYWAY.

I work hard and clothes are how I like to spend my money. I am a “decadent single,” obvs. (If that reference doesn’t make sense, I encourage you to read this. Can I get a hell yes, please? And also a say what? Because how are we singles the decadent ones when the world is so overpopulated? Selfish, maybe, or narcissistic, but decadent? Not automatically, no. Anyway, read that. Let’s get back to nail polish.)

love me some Tom Ford (I still swoon about the blue velvet Gucci blazer he designed and which I managed to snag when I was a teenager at the outlets at Secaucus, except they only had men’s left, so I bought it but never wore it, because the shoulders were just a smidge too broad, but still, I had that damn blazer and I loved it), but come ON. I mean, these polishes are pretty enough—really pretty, actually—but I just…I can’t. I mean, if polish is  YOUR boyfriend, then by all means. But I’d just as soon someone give me $480 bucks for Hanukkah instead. (Wait, you weren’t planning on giving me these nail polishes, WERE you? Because then maybe $480 sounds like the exact amount friendly strangers should send a blogger lady and dare I say FRIEND? (I’m Jewish, btdubs, in case that wasn’t clear, which means my wise-men ref up top may not make sense. I’m not entirely sure what frankincense is. Is it a kind of incense? Maybe throw some frankincense in my gift bag with my new Tom Ford nail polishes.)

Anyway, thanks for bearing with my rantlet. (It’s not really much of one. It’s hard to get irate about nail polish, even when it seems so out of touch with what’s, y’know, happening out in the world. Then again, so do the photos of the clothing/boyfriend I just posted.) I get sort of ADD this time of year (as evidenced by here), so I appreciate you reading this far. You are still reading, right? Hello(ello(ello))?

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