Mothereffing Halloween.

green_fairy_by_matusciacNot to sound like a grump, but I positively despise Halloween. I, unlike apparently a lot of people, do not appreciate what has come to be the one day a year is it acceptable for a woman to dress hoey. (If you wanna dress hoey, go ahead and do it! Why wait until October?) As a self-proclaimed creative type, I also loathe the idea of buying a store-bought costume but find myself in a pinch: I am going to a green-themed party. (If I weren’t, pretty sure I’d want to go as Taylor Jacobson: messy blond wig, dark brows, sunglasses, Starbucks cup, droney voice–LOVE.)

ANYWAY, a green party. My friend is going as corn. Adorable. I thought of going as envy, and still think that would sort of rule, but how does one dress as envy? Leading other top contenders right now include Mother Earth (thank you, friend Rema!), peas in a pod (thank you, friend Jenny!), a visitor from the land of Og (am I the only person who remembers this cartoon?)  and the Green Fairy (as in absinthe). So now it’s a mad dash to pull any one of those off in two days. (Have I mentioned that I hate Halloween?) If I can’t do it, then I’m just going to DRINK the absinthe and call it a day.