Such a Pretty Face » Musings

I am my own grandpa.

carlasosenko — Tue, 29 May 2012 20:37:20 +0000

I hope all these guys in my phone with the last name OkCupid aren’t related. It’ll be super awk when they find out I’m dating all of them.

Gold digger.

carlasosenko — Tue, 29 May 2012 20:32:37 +0000

“Has that old guy finally left you alone?” Or, why it’s sometimes actually funny to talk about my dating life with my mom.

Did I stutter?

carlasosenko — Tue, 29 May 2012 20:30:59 +0000

Presented without commentary, a recent grocery list.

Stigmatatized.

carlasosenko — Mon, 28 May 2012 22:44:18 +0000

I fear that the unfortunate placement of two blemishes on opposite ends of my forehead are not going to help dismantle the whole Jews-have-horns thing.

Kismet.

carlasosenko — Mon, 28 May 2012 22:40:28 +0000

Is there a Foursquare badge for seeing three different boys you’ve made out with in one location at different times?

Paging Capt. Obvious

carlasosenko — Sun, 27 May 2012 16:53:54 +0000

I encourage all of you to enlist a friend to help you identify some of your dating downfalls. For example, tonight Prana taught me that I should a) not yell at boys and b) not tell them that they are weird when they kiss me. Very helpful!

Always, with wings.

carlasosenko — Sun, 27 May 2012 16:51:30 +0000

A lovely United flight attendant gave my friend and me, both nervous Nelly fliers, wings! Amazing what that (along with a Xanax) does to calm the nerves.

Deja vu.

carlasosenko — Sun, 20 May 2012 15:50:12 +0000

TMI.

carlasosenko — Wed, 16 May 2012 22:26:26 +0000

Ladies’ room at work, 4 p.m.-ish, every stall is taken. Woman from another office in the building comes in, sees that I’m waiting on line. Says, “Full house? It’s that time of day!” OMG, WHAT TIME OF DAY???

Keeper.

carlasosenko — Wed, 16 May 2012 12:30:49 +0000

Recognized the Eek-a-Mouse song playing at Starbucks and couldn’t figure out why. Realized it was because of Reggae Guy, the dude I dated last summer who thought megalomania was the fear of being assassinated and omnipotence was being everywhere at once.