Such a Pretty Face

I hope all these guys in my phone with the last name OkCupid aren’t related. It’ll be super awk when they find out I’m dating all of them.

“Has that old guy finally left you alone?” Or, why it’s sometimes actually funny to talk about my dating life with my mom.

I fear that the unfortunate placement of two blemishes on opposite ends of my forehead are not going to help dismantle the whole Jews-have-horns thing.

Is there a Foursquare badge for seeing three different boys you’ve made out with in one location at different times?

I encourage all of you to enlist a friend to help you identify some of your dating downfalls. For example, tonight Prana taught me that I should a) not yell at boys and b) not tell them that they are weird when they kiss me. Very helpful!

Ladies’ room at work, 4 p.m.-ish, every stall is taken. Woman from another office in the building comes in, sees that I’m waiting on line. Says, “Full house? It’s that time of day!” OMG, WHAT TIME OF DAY???

Recognized the Eek-a-Mouse song playing at Starbucks and couldn’t figure out why. Realized it was because of Reggae Guy, the dude I dated last summer who thought megalomania was the fear of being assassinated and omnipotence was being everywhere at once.